3 cute cat pictures that will make you believe in God again

This playful tabby

Come on. There can't be a never-ending void of nothingness if this tabby can be so playful

This siamese

Surely something set evolution into motion to make this be possible. The cat is so beautiful. Quit crying. 

This praying cat

The cat itself is praying. So surely that means something. Surely something means something. The cats are so pretty. Don't worry. Just look at more cat pictures. 

5 little things to make your day better

 A piece of lint

It's so little don't you feel good?!?!?!

This flea

It's little and scary! Eek! Little things truly make the day better

A hair follicle

Complete with sebaceous gland! This little thing is sure to make your day 

A water molecule

It's so wittle and so cute and so wittle

A Helium Molecule

This list just proves it. The little things are what matters

Are you a productive and determined person, or just Manic-Depressive?

In this photo: The stock photo cake we all deserve

As you fill your every waking hour with commitment after commitment you may start to feel you finally got a handle on this whole life thing. When that happens step back and analyze whether or not your brain is emitting a series of chemicals in an abnormal way and that is the only reason why you are feeling so unfettered by the pain of human existence. Now start working on this cake! It is three in the morning and somebody needs to be making this cake. Might as well be you. Hey why don't you also start to write that screenplay you've been thinking about making all these years! Try not to get too much flour on the keyboard as you do both at the same time and also smoke a cigarette. You're a real go-getter. "Go-getter done" as you always like to say.

Anyway maybe take a moment and think about whether or not you have slept in the last few weeks. If the answer to that question is no make sure you drink more coffee! Completely stop listening to your body and allow your mania to blissfully pull you away from the problems of the universe. Most importantly don't forget about that cake! It is four in the morning and you have friends that would be so excited if you gave them a cake. Make sure you make it extra spongey and moist. Don't forget the flour! And also eggs. Most cakes have flour and eggs. No reason to look up a recipe you are a regular chef and could probably make this cake from memory because you are so good at everything you do.

As you forget about the pain of human existence and munch munch on this cake cake. Don't forget that research from the University of Michigan shows that you are probably manic-depressive. Yes, specifically you Alicia. Quit working on that cake and go to bed Alicia. And that is everything that the University of Michigan reported!
 

3 Reasons Brunch is a better option than laying in bed alone on a Sunday morning

Because Mimosa's are yummy!!!! hahahahahahahaahahaha

Please God get out of bed there is no reason to be doing this to yourself 

Ummm, just look at these eggs. You need these eggs

. 

Remove the covers from over your eyes and at least get dressed.

Brunch is where all of the happy things happen because Brunch is where all of the bloody mary's go to hang out with each other and get you drunk you happy little slut you

The longer you stay in bed the sadder this whole thing seems people keep texting and calling you that were expecting to see you at brunch why are you staring at the ceiling with your hand over your eyes your curtains are drawn it's already dark this is horrifically depressing goddmanit

Here are some words I learned

In this photo: education?!

Let us consider what place intersectional identity has in terms of making a larger statement in analyzing our own position of white cisgender privilege in a racially divisive society that also happens to be white-enabling. One second I have to put on a jazz record and pour some whisky before I continue talking about the real world problems. Okay I am back now. I am back to make a critical judgement and analysis of our own perpetuation of oppressive systems that attempt to marginalize those who don't happen to fit into the already pre-defined social structures that keep us all stuck in a box. A box that doesn't include queerness by the way. On that note let me get my huge fucking cigar out so I can puff puff while I think think.


Wait I need to stop for a second and just say something outright. The world is fucking horrible and horrible things are happening daily and I don't know how to deal with and these words are protecting me from feeling anything real and I need them I need these words. What I'm trying to say is racism sucks. Homophobia and transphobia suck. That's what I'm trying to say. I am afraid we are all afraid. Violence permeates so much of our daily existence. What is happening?! That's what I'm trying to say.


Anyway as we consider what place intersectional identity has in terms of making a larger statement in analyzing our own position of white cisgender privilege let us not forget what that means for trans-identity and let us also not forget to buy more Miles Davis on vinyl.

This Article is about my Ex-Boyfriend but I will Pretend it's About Sexism

I, like all women, deal with the harmful realities of sexism everyday. We have to fight against the men (Justin Banks) that would harm us. We also have to stand up against the women (that skinny bitch Sherona he is fucking) who are so competitive instead of collaborative in our fight for equality.

One day we will all stand up and be equals. There will no longer be a pay gap and Sherona will no longer have a thigh gap because her metabolism will slow as she gets older and her skin will get saggy and she'll have more wrinkles than me probably too Justin. I am not upset. I am not upset. I am not upset. I'm just thinking a lot about sexism. 

 Life is about making choices. I am pro-choice. But not when it comes to dumping me you had no good reason to dump me you are just afraid of love and commitment like a little child and Sherona is a little child as well so I'm sure you guys are a perfect fit for each other. 

Anyway sexism is a serious issue that has been engrained in our culture for thousands of years. I think it would be best if we all took a step back in our lives and analyzed how it has affected us individually. Like me right now. I hate myself because I cannot be with you and I am not Sherona who has pretty hair and knows how to twirl it. 

Anyway sexism is a serious issue that has been engrained in our culture for thousands of years. 

Breaking News: Kanye West Has Been Alive Forever

According to Kanye West, Kanye West has been alive forever.

The news came bright and early via social media last night, and the world is in shock. As doctors and archaeologists across the globe attempt to figure out just how this is possible, Kanye West had this to say

"Kanye HAS NEVER NOT BEEN ALIVE. Kanye West HAS NEVER NOT BEEN ALIVE. NEVER NOT"

While requesting that he meet with top officials, and business leaders across the world, in order to spread his messianic message, Kanye made the bold claim that he has the power to make books cheaper.

Commenting on the possible mental health crisis her husband is in, Kim Kardashian had this to say,

"Please put me in the article you write about Kanye"