In this Picture: Anxiety?
It appears that 15-year old women across the world are now biologically in-sync with the Doomsday clock, as of its new inching toward midnight.
This is an interesting development, as it indicates that as soon as this generation of women is emotionally and financially mature enough to proliferate our species, the majority of humanity will be obliterated.
For some, like Jessica Statler of Long-Island, this comes as a relief. “You know, I never really wanted to have children, or live past 30. I guess I’ve always been kind of a free spirit? With the rising wave of feminism I don’t really see why I should be too devastated about not living long enough to feel the biological urge to procreate.”
Some, like Devon Brookshire of Conway, Arkansas are unfettered by the news. “I have really tough skin. It’s often described as scaly. For that reason I feel like I could easily survive a Nuclear Holocaust and in the rubble raise the idyllic family I always imagined having. 2 kids, an equally scaly husband, and a beautiful cottage-home, built upon the ashes of history.”