Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Guns Rights Activist Loses Foot in Hunting Accident

Darryl Walker is pictured above. "This is from when I posed for stock photos. That was a great Tuesday." - Darryl Walker

On the 15th of December, 55 year old Darryl Walker was out hunting with some old college buddies when tragedy struck.

Darryl, who friends describe as 'legally blind', mistook his own foot for a Quail while hunting and shot himself in the foot.

Darryl, a long time Guns Rights activist, claims that "absolutely nothing could have prevented this accident." When asked whether the ban of firearms within the United States would have possibly saved Darryl his foot he responded with, "while the firearm that took my foot off had a bullet flying out of its barrel at the speed of 2,500 feet per second, allowing it to have the optimal velocity to perfectly bare through every single tendon at the base of my ankle and leaving me without the ability to walk normally ever again, there is no reason a well-thrown knife could not have done the same damage."

Long-time friend David Wallace of Colorado commented that, "we are all very sad for the loss of Darryl's foot, but this is no time for political talk. This is a time for us to grieve, and we (his friends and family) would prefer that no one discuss any sort of preventive measures to protect people in the future because that's irrelevant."

Darryl went on to claim that several people lose their feet in England every year, despite the fact that guns are illegal in that pansy-ass nation of biscuit-dunkers.

Darryl's most inspiring words came as he spoke about his deep passion for the American people.

"The rights and freedoms of the American public far outweigh the importance of one mans foot. Or the lives of 30,000 Americans every year."

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